Trials and Tribulation

Well, it's been awhile since we've posted anything. I've thought about writing several times, and then decided to wait another week or so. To be very honest, things have been kind of tough. I keep thinking it will get better and I'll have encouraging things to say on our blog. Adopting an older child has proven to be very challenging on the entire family. Kaitlyn has been consumed with jealousy of Kailey for the past two months. She has taken it out on her physically, emotionally and verbally. It's been especially hard on Kailey and myself. Kaitlyn doesn't want me to love Kailey and she makes that very clear most everyday. She gets very agitated when Kailey and I talk to each other, sit, stand or walk next to each other. She wedges herself between us and gives Kailey the evil eye. She yells at Kailey, tries to hurt her and cries. She understands English pretty well now and we tell her over and over again that we love Kaitlyn, Austin and Kailey. She doesn't want to hear this, or understand it. Kaitlyn is also very physcial with me and doesn't have appropriate boundaries. She's extremely insecure-I can't leave the room without her following me, she has to have me in her sight at all times, and/or be physically stroking me in some way. She's paranoid of me going anywhere. She askes, "Ma Ma go driving? Ma Ma stay home?" multiple times a day. Tim has been trying to bond more with her, and takes her on errands to give me a break. The counselor in Mesa turned out to be a total whack! He told me to tell Kaitlyn, "Oh, I like the way you are massaging my back", as she is violently kicking my chair, screaming and crying because Kailey is sitting in the front seat of the car and she isn't. Needless to say, we never went back to him. Our agency found a Christian, Chinese, Mandarin-speaking female counselor that we've starting going to. Thank you Jesus! Her name is Frieda. She's been great, but says it's going to be slow going and we're in for a tough challenge. We knew that the second day we had her in China!!! However, we made a lot of excuses for her behavior in China and thought things would get better once we got settled back home. We were wrong. I'm sorry if this is brutely honest and offends or worries some that are reading this... especially those that might be waiting for a referral. I don't want to be discouraging or scare anyone off from adopting. That's why I haven't written anything in weeks. In our experience, we've learned adoption isn't always a bed of roses. It's actually the hardest thing our family has ever gone through. We're trying to see God's plan in all this. Your prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated!!!
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