Tribute To Nanny 1910-2009

My grandmother (Nanny) went home to be with Jesus Friday, February 6, 2009 in Seattle. We knew this day would come, but it didn't make it any easier when that call came in. Nanny suffered a massive heart attack on January 5th. The doctors said she probably wouldn't make it through the night. Well, she actually made it through 30 more nights with only 10% of her heart working! She's a strong women, and as she would say, "I come from good stalk!"

Words can't begin to describe what a wonderful person she was. She was a godly women, strong in her faith, and she always put other people's needs before her own. When I would visit her, I never left empty handed - she ALWAYS found something to give me. She was a giver and it gave her great pleasure to send ya out the door with this or that... and a few cookies! Nanny loved to tell stories of her days in Alaska. We would sit and drink tea and I'd just listen to her talk. The last time I saw her, I video tapped her telling a story of catching a salmon with her bare hands! Like I said, she was incredible. Nanny was married to my grandpa (PoPo) for 63 years. You sure don't hear that now-a-days! She stood by her man through thick and thin and set an example for her legacy to follow. I am truly honored to be her granddaughter and I will miss her something terrible. However, I'm comforted in the fact she knew Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior and I WILL see her again one day. Bye Nanny.... I love you so much!

Christmas At The Christians' House

First, I'd like to thank so many of you for your private emails of encouragement, your prayers, and comments on our blog. It truly means a lot to have so many people praying for us!! Please keep it coming! It's a process, and will be a long one at that. We seem to take one step forward and three steps back. We've made progress with the "boundary" issue with me, but continually work to teach her appropriate behavior with Kailey & the dogs. It's hard and sometimes very conflicting because our parenting style tells us she needs to have clear, logical & natural consequences for her poor behavior choices - yet counselors tell us not to spank, flick her in the lip when she mouths off, or put her in time-out. We'd love to hear from families who are experienced in adoption on the subject of discipline!

Other news... we had Tim's two older brothers and their families from Washington down for Christmas and New Years this year. It was the first time in 11 years all 5 siblings were together! We had a great time spending time with the whole family. Tim's brother, Marty, has been battling leukemia all year, but his latest test showed no cancer in his body! He will get checked every other month to make sure it doesn't reoccur. Tim's oldest brother, Steve, married a beautiful gal from the Philippians 14 months ago. They are expecting a child in August!

My 98 year old grandmother, Nanny, had a massive heart attack last week. It's been 8 days now and she is doing amazingly well. She's in a Christian nursing home and seems to be doing better. She only has 10% of her heart functioning, so she has completely shocked the doctors and family with her strength. She knows and loves the Lord and says she is ready to go. As much as we know that day is coming, and I know I will see her again someday, it still breaks my heart. I plan to fly up to Washington soon.

Austin continues to like High School and made Honor Roll this semester! He's spends a lot of time on his phone with girls and is very involved with the High School Group at Church. He leaves this weekend on a retreat in Flagstaff and will snowboard for the first time! Kailey also did very well and made Honor Roll this semester too... as well as the Cheer Squad. She is a typical girl and begs to go to the mall often. She is also involved with the youth group at church and leaves for Prescott in two weeks for a winter retreat. We are so proud of them - from the inside out!

Trials and Tribulation

Well, it's been awhile since we've posted anything. I've thought about writing several times, and then decided to wait another week or so. To be very honest, things have been kind of tough. I keep thinking it will get better and I'll have encouraging things to say on our blog. Adopting an older child has proven to be very challenging on the entire family. Kaitlyn has been consumed with jealousy of Kailey for the past two months. She has taken it out on her physically, emotionally and verbally. It's been especially hard on Kailey and myself. Kaitlyn doesn't want me to love Kailey and she makes that very clear most everyday. She gets very agitated when Kailey and I talk to each other, sit, stand or walk next to each other. She wedges herself between us and gives Kailey the evil eye. She yells at Kailey, tries to hurt her and cries. She understands English pretty well now and we tell her over and over again that we love Kaitlyn, Austin and Kailey. She doesn't want to hear this, or understand it. Kaitlyn is also very physcial with me and doesn't have appropriate boundaries. She's extremely insecure-I can't leave the room without her following me, she has to have me in her sight at all times, and/or be physically stroking me in some way. She's paranoid of me going anywhere. She askes, "Ma Ma go driving? Ma Ma stay home?" multiple times a day. Tim has been trying to bond more with her, and takes her on errands to give me a break. The counselor in Mesa turned out to be a total whack! He told me to tell Kaitlyn, "Oh, I like the way you are massaging my back", as she is violently kicking my chair, screaming and crying because Kailey is sitting in the front seat of the car and she isn't. Needless to say, we never went back to him. Our agency found a Christian, Chinese, Mandarin-speaking female counselor that we've starting going to. Thank you Jesus! Her name is Frieda. She's been great, but says it's going to be slow going and we're in for a tough challenge. We knew that the second day we had her in China!!! However, we made a lot of excuses for her behavior in China and thought things would get better once we got settled back home. We were wrong. I'm sorry if this is brutely honest and offends or worries some that are reading this... especially those that might be waiting for a referral. I don't want to be discouraging or scare anyone off from adopting. That's why I haven't written anything in weeks. In our experience, we've learned adoption isn't always a bed of roses. It's actually the hardest thing our family has ever gone through. We're trying to see God's plan in all this. Your prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated!!!
'

Kaitlyn's 11th Birthday!!

We celebrated Kaitlyn's 11th birthday this weekend! We've been talking about her birthday for the last few weeks trying to prepare her a bit. She has no clue what a birthday party or gifts are! She thought the Christmas tree was a decoration for her party! She is completely obvilous to Christmas and all the Christmas traditions as well.

Anyhow, we started the weekend off by taking the girls to get their ears pierced. Kailey got one diamond stud on her cartilage, Kaitlyn got both ears pierced for the first time and so did their baby cousin, Carly! All were brave... even Carly. Kaitlyn invited 5 friends from school to come to her party. We took the girls to Peter Piper Pizza for lunch and games. Then we met the family back at the house for cake and presents. She had a great time and it was really cute to see her interact with her friends. This was the first time she's had friends over to the house. She did really good, but would come check on me ever so often to see if I was still close by. I redirected her to visit with her friends and she would skip out of the room and go play with them. Riley especially dotes on Kaitlyn and has taken a special interest in teaching her and showing her things.

Thanksgiving '08

Six Weeks Home

The last couple weeks have been met with wonderful times and challenges. Kaitlyn has continued to share things about Lanzhou and her foster mother. Now we know there was an older girl and boy in the home that she called her brother and sister. There was also a grandmother who walked with a cane, but it is unclear if she lived in the same house... we think so. She told me her Lanzhou Ma Ma put her hair in ponytails and cooked her dumplins for dinner. She also has shared some very sad and heartbreaking information as to how she was treated in the home. Each time she opens up, she ends up in tears by the end of the conversation. I will never forget when I was completely stressing out at school before leaving for China wondering why - after 2 1/2 years of waiting, why things went into lightning speed mode all of the sudden for us. My friend, Natalie, told me..."God has a plan. Maybe there is a reason why you need to get her NOW and not wait another month or two." I believe we know the answer to that now.

Kaitlyn loves her older sister, Kailey. She likes to watch her do her hair and make-up in the morning, play soccer with her, copies her cheer dances, cartwheels and plays games with her. However, she has also become quite jealous of Kailey and doesn't like the fact I have another daughter. It has been much, much better the last few days. I continually, and very firmly explain to her that Ma Ma has two daughters. I love Kaitlyn, and I love Kailey - it's okay. Like I said, this week has been better. She actually pushed me toward Kailey and insisted I hug her & kiss her. That was a good sign! I hope we're over the worst part of that!

We have been in close contact about all this with our adoption agency and they are working with us to find appropriate counseling for Kaitlyn... and for the family, to help us with these issues that have come up. We have a good lead on a doctor in Mesa (about an hour and 15 minute drive one way from our house), that specializes in adoption issues.

Kaitlyn is full of funny phrases! She's always been a good eater and usually out-eats us at the dinner table! Some of the things she says at the dinner table are, "Slow it down; Take it easy, Wait, Wait, Wait". Obviously, these are the things we often say to her as she shovels the food in her mouth! I was also holding my little niece, Carly and turned her around for a picture. Kaitlyn yells out, "Turn the page!" It was too funny! She refers to one of her teachers, as "Mrs. Smith... Excuuuuuse me, Turn the page, I'll wait". Then with her math teacher, (Natalie) she dances and sings, "Days-Of-The-Week" to the tune of "The Adams Family". I thought for the longest time she was singing "Desiree" not "Days of the week!" Kaitlyn is doing 2nd grade English work in reading, writing and math. We're hoping to get her into 3rd grade curriculum by February/March. She's smart and is learning rapidly!

Well, that's about it in a nutshell! Please continue to keep Kaitlyn and our family in your prayers as we continue to work through things. We know God is in control and has a plan for our expanded family. Philippians 1:6 "Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Life's Joys... And Tears

It's hard to believe we have been home for a month already! The time has just flown by! Austin is all caught up with his classes and football season ends next week. Kailey seems happy at her new school and has already made a bunch of new friends in 8th grade. She is very helpful to me after school to keep Kaitlyn occupied while I finish up work in my classsroom. Kaitlyn continues to do very well in school and has so many friends. She is known throughout the school across several grade levels. It's so cute to be walking with her and every-other kid we come across says hi to her and wants to talk to her. The other kids are very facinated with her and want to be apart of teaching her things. She is very receptive to this and loves the attention she's getting! She is a very outgoing, friendly, smiley, funny, bubbly kid that likes to be in the center of all the action!! All her teachers say she is doing amazing and is catching on super fast. Kaitlyn mostly speaks in chopped English phrases now and we all play a lot of what looks like "Charades" when we communicate. We truly understand most of what she says and vice versa. There has only been a few times where we can't figure out what she's trying to say. We have learned more Mandarin words as well, so that helps too. Thanks Coleen for the DVD!

Kaitlyn's Arizona birth certificates came in the mail this week as well as her Certificate of Citizenship! We will pursue getting her social security card this week.

This has also been a week of emotions from Kaitlyn. As she continues to adjust, she has grown increasingly attached to Ma Ma and cries her heart out when I leave to go anywhere without her. She's going through some separation anxiety issues that have escalated over the last week. I continually reasure her I love her and will be back soon. It's hard because we just don't know much about the last ten years of her life and what she has been through. However, she started to tell me things about her "Lanzhou Ma Ma", (her foster mom for the past 2 or so years) just within the last few days. I know her Lanzhou Ma Ma didn't like coffee, but likes tea. I know she has a green couch. I know there was only a Ma Ma and no Ba Ba. She had her do a lot of housework and didn't make her brush her teeth at night. It is unclear whether there were other children in the house. I also know she had yucky feet and "bad" shoes! Over the course of an hour, Kaitlyn continued to tell me more, and then sobbed in my arms saying, "Lanzhou Ma Ma bad" and gave a thumbs down. It just broke my heart. Please pray for Kaitlyn as she works through this and for us to help her with God's love and healing power. She is safe now and has a forever family that will love her for the rest of her life!

Kaitlyn's 1st Field Trip